Posted by: episystechpubs | September 4, 2015

Editor’s Corner: Final Swifties

Today is the final day of Tom Swifties. I have the remaining entries from our prizewinners, Eric Nielsen and Scott Whitham. Additionally, I have a few more entries from some of our other more prolific writers, Samantha Armistead, Mary Fleenor, Laura Reece, Emily Gershbein, and Christy Armistead.

One more “thank you” to everyone who participated and to everyone who reads Editor’s Corner. Now, it’s time to figure out what to do for the next contest!

Samantha Armistead

· “Everybody smile for the camera,” said Tom cheesily.

· “Someone else is sitting here,” said Tom deceitfully.

· “I can’t get my CD out of the player,” said Tom dejectedly.

· “I noticed your GPA has dropped,” said Tom degradingly.

· “I’m having bypass surgery,” said Tom hardheartedly.

· “It was the turtle that won the race,” said Tom hurriedly.

· “I’ll never be able to iron this shirt again,” said Tom irrepressibly.

· “I should be nicer to people,” said Tom meaninglessly.

· “You need to do something about that old horse,” said Tom naggingly.

· “You can’t go to the carnival this year,” said Tom nefariously.

· “Guess which hotel room I’m in,” said Tom intuitively.

Mary Fleenor

· “What a long way we have to go,” he said distantly.

· “I do make good coffee,” she said perkily.

· “Okay, I’ll stop…for now,” Mary said haltingly.

· “She’s built like a brick house,” he said figuratively.

· “Not Uncle Ben’s again; I hate that stuff!” he said derisively.

· “Get ready, you bloodsucker; this is gonna hurt,” Buffy said painstakingly.

Laura Reece

· "How do you like my red hair and freckles?" Tom asked gingerly.

· "My family is part Cherokee," Tom said bravely.

· "I caught a fairy," Tom said spritely.

· "My mom is now my dad," Tom said transparently.

· "YOLO," Tom said acronymically.

· "Any credible resource on scientific theory is cautious," Tom said acrostically.

· "I was so the lead singer of a popular band in the ’80s," Tom said adamantly.

Eric Nielsen

· “These crunches are great for my obliques!” said Tom abdominally.

· “That guy down there is very hairy” said Tom overbearingly.

· “Fascinating, Captain. This is a type of metal ore with which I am completely unfamiliar.” said Spock mineralogically.

· “Take the prisoner downstairs,” said the Warden condescendingly.

· “Fencing partners are posted on the bulletin board,” said Tom dualistically.

· “This is not as deep at the Mariana’s Trench,” said the diver fathomlessly.

· “My Royal Flush beats your Full House,” said Tom highhandedly.

· “This poor bird is sick,” said Tom illegally.

· “Look at that baby sheep do sit-ups!” said Tom lambently.

Emily Gershbein

· "I had to twist and jump to get away from that flying rodent," said Tom acrobatically.

· "You need to change the verb in this sentence," said Tom tensely.

· "Will you please turn on the lamp?" said Tom politely.

Christy Armistead

· “Don’t put away that jar of mayonnaise until you’ve closed it!” said Tom pallidly.

· “Have you seen that new dinosaur anime book?” said Tom paleographically.

· “You can never solve an argument with a punch,“ said Tom pacifistically.

· “You’re going to blow a circuit if you plug one more thing into that extension cord,” said Tom overpoweringly.

· “I’m going to buy up all the farm properties that are up sale!“ said Tom outlandishly.

· "You’re going to be in pain if you don’t quit biting your fingernails," said Tom quickly.

· “You’re going to cut your arm off if you’re not more careful with that saw,” said Tom offhandedly.

· “I need to take you to the Doctor to see about your sore throat,” said Tom obstreperously.

· “You need to aim better if you want to hit the bullseye,” said Tom narrowly.

Scott Whitham

· “The seafood market is closed,” said Tom unselfishly.

· “I missed going to the annual political conference this year,” said Tom unconventionally.

· “Since becoming a Dr., I like to text all my clients,” said Tom IMpatiently.

· “I can’t find my board game,” said Tom cluelessly.

· “I removed the barbed wire partition from my pasture,” said Tom defensively.

· “I installed that new light myself,” said Tom shockingly.

· “I sent flowers in a letter shaped glass container,” said Tom evasively.

· “I have successfully cloned myself,” said Tom recreationally.

· “When I grow up I want to be an astronaut,” said Tom spaciously.

· “My arithmetic skills are not very good,” said Tom dividedly.

· “I took the test over, for a second time,” said Tom redundantly.

· “I pick up every penny I find,” said Tom recently.

· “I love to gaze at the stars,” said Tom astronomically.

Kara Church

Technical Editor, Advisory

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