Posted by: episystechpubs | July 22, 2021

Editor’s Corner: New Mondegreens for Thursday Cheer

Happy Thursday!

I thought I’d see if there was anything new on the internet about mondegreens, since those are always a popular topic. While mondegreens are generally defined as misheard song lyrics, I found a book that covers “mishearings” from many sources, including children’s rhymes, advertisements, phrases, church songs, and a whole passel of different things. Here is the first batch of items I have for you from Mondegreens: A Book of Mishearings, by Jacquie Wines. First are the original words or lyrics, followed by the misheard version or versions.

Children’s Songs and Nursery Rhymes

Mary had a little lamb / Its fleece was white as snow

Mary had a little lamb / Its fleas were white as snow

Head, shoulders, knees, and toes

Head , shoulders, sneeze, and toes

Little Miss Muffet / Sat on a tuffet / Eating her curds and whey

Little Miss Muffet / Sat on a tuffet / Eating her curtains away

Lavender’s blue, dilly dilly, / Lavender’s green

Laugh and turn blue, dilly dilly, / Laugh and turn green

The Alphabet Song

Children are often encouraged to sing the alphabet. Many, however, get stuck on the letters “L, M, N, O, P”, as these offerings show:

…L, M, N, O, P…

Elly, belly, bee

Yellow, mellow, pee

I’m a little bee

Elementary

Church Sounds and Songs

Father, Son, and…?

Father, Son, and Holy Goat

Father, Son, and the whole East Coast

Father, Don, and the Holy Ghost

Father, Son, and the Holy Smoke

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound / That saved a wretch like me!

I’m aging great, how sweet thou are / To spare a wretch like me.

Amazing grace, how sweet my aunt / Who saved a wretch like me!

Amazing grapes, how sweet thou art / To spare some for my tea.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound / That saved a wench like me.

And I have a bit of popular music, misheard like your standard mondegreen. The original song is by Bob Marley:

I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.

I shot the sheriff, but I didn’t shoot him dead you see.

I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the dead beauty.

I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the dead pony.

I shopped with Cheryl…

I shot the sherry…

Kara Church

Pronouns: she/her/hers

Technical Editor, Advisory

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

Posted by: episystechpubs | July 20, 2021

Editor’s Corner: Sawbucks and Honey Buns

Good morning!

As the credit card bills from vacation roll in, I thought it would be timely to discuss some of the slang I use when I open the envelopes. No, not the horrible language I shout for overspending, but slang for the American dollar. This is part of the list from Daily Writing Tips.

§ Big ones: multiples of one thousand dollars

§ Bones: dollars (origin unknown)

§ Bucks: dollars (perhaps from a reference to buckskins, or deerskins, which were once used as currency)

§ Cabbage: paper money (from its color)

§ Cs (or C-notes): multiples of one hundred dollars (from the Roman symbol for “one hundred”)

§ Doubles (or dubs): twenty-dollar bills

§ Large: thousand-dollar bills

§ Lettuce: paper money (from its color)

§ Long green: paper money (from its shape and color)

§ Nickel: five dollars (by multiplication of the value of the five-cent coin)

§ Quarter: twenty-five dollars (by multiplication of the value of the twenty-five-cent coin)

§ Sawbucks: ten-dollar bills (from the resemblance of X, the Roman symbol for ten, to a sawbuck, or sawhorse)

§ Scratch: money (perhaps from the idea that one has to struggle as if scratching the ground to obtain it)

§ Simoleons: dollars (perhaps from a combination of simon, slang for the British sixpence and later the American dollar, and napoleon, a form of French currency)

§ Singles: one-dollar bills

§ Skrilla: money (origin unknown)

§ Smackers: dollars (origin unknown)

§ Spondulix: money (either from spondylus, a Greek word for a shell once used as currency, or from the prefix spondylo-, which means “spine” or “vertebra”; these have a common etymology)

§ Stacks: multiples of a thousand dollars

§ Two bits: twenty-five cents (a reference to pieces of eight, divisible sections of a Mexican real, or dollar)

§ Yards: one hundred dollars

While reading through these slang words, I looked for some additional information on one of them, and found a ton of information on Wikipedia, but this was the section that related the most to the items from Daily Writing Tips.

  • $1 bill is sometimes called a "single," a "buck," or a "simoleon.” The dollar has also been referred to as a "bean" or "bone" (e.g. twenty bones is equal to $20).
  • $2 bill is sometimes referred to as a "deuce".
  • $5 bill has been referred to as a "fin", "fiver" or "five-spot".
  • $10 bill is a "sawbuck", a "ten-spot", or a "Hamilton".
  • $20 bill as a "Jackson", or a "dub", or a "double sawbuck".
  • Among horse-race gamblers, the $50 bill is called a "frog" and is considered unlucky. It is sometimes referred to as a "Grant."
  • $100 bill is occasionally "C-note" (C being the Roman numeral for 100, from the Latin word centum) or "century note"; it can also be referred to as a "Benjamin" or "Benny" (after Benjamin Franklin, who is pictured on the note), or a "yard" (so $300 is "3 yards" and a $50 bill is a "half a yard"). "A rack" is $1,000 in the form of ten $100 bills, banded by a bank or otherwise.
  • Amounts above $1000 US dollars are occasionally referred to as "large" ("twenty large" being $20,000, etc.). In slang, a thousand dollars may also be referred to as a "grand" or "G", "K" (as in kilo), or less commonly a "stack", a "bozo", as well as a "band". For example, "The repairs to my car cost me a couple grand" or "The repairs to my car cost me a couple [of] stacks".
  • $100,000 US dollars is called a "brick" or a "honey bun".

I realized my go-to term for money is buck or bucks, such as, “How could they charge five bucks for a glass of water?” After growing up next to Canada, I know they call their dollar coin a Loonie, but what other slang terms are out there? Anybody know slang for Euros? Or did you grow up in another country and learn different names for the country’s currency? I wonder if other places use food terms like us? For example, we use cheese, lettuce, and bread or dough when referring to money…do they refer to the pesos in Mexico as “queso, lechuga, y pan”? If anyone has anything they want to share—I’m all ears (or eyes).

Have a lovely day. May it be full of C-notes and honey buns.

Kara Church

Pronouns: she/her/hers

Technical Editor, Advisory

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

Posted by: episystechpubs | July 15, 2021

Editor’s Corner: Embarrassing but Funny Mistakes

Good morning, all!

As I was searching for topics to write about for Editor’s Corner, I came across this list called Twenty of the Worst Typos, Grammatical Errors & Spelling Mistakes We’ve Ever Seen by HubSpot, and I thought I would share the ones that are work-appropriate with you to serve two purposes: it’s an opportunity to have a chuckle, and it’s a not so gentle reminder to always edit your own writing (no matter how short).

The error is not immediately obvious in some of the images, so take your time. And remember you Symitar folk, when you’re writing something at work that you plan to publish or send out into the world, you can send it to the Symitar editing crew for a review. We’ll do our best to save you from any embarrassment. 😊

Here you go. Enjoy!

We’re having a little trouble imagining this.

Image Credit: 11 Points

Just found out The Purge actually happened.

Image credit: ViralNova

"When I grow up, I want to be a technincian!"

Image Credit: WCPO

If you think about it, it is original.

Image Credit: Slice

Best headline since "Headless Body in Topless Bar".

Image credit: The Guardian

The few and the proud.

Image credit: ViralNova

We wouldn’t take one.

Image credit: Cheezburger

Did someone actually name their kid Sport?

Image credit: Flickr

Well, at least they admit to their mistakes.

Image credit: Jazarah!

Did they edit this ad in a New York minute?

Image credit: Engrish and Funny Typos

The ultimate silver lining.

Image credit: ViralNova

Apparently, floor cloth won him seven Tour de Frances.

Image Credit: Slice

Is it proper grammar?

Image Credit: The Huffington Post

We’d buy it.

Image Credit: Pleated Jeans

What would happen if you pressed no?

Image Credit: Pleated Jeans

She doesn’t know it yet, but she’s talking about herself.

Image Credit: ViralNova

We hear he’s a little dramatic under water.

Image Credit: Pleated Jeans

Throwback to Googing things.

Image Credit: Flickr

Donna Bradley Burcher | Senior Technical Editor | Symitar®

8985 Balboa Ave. | San Diego, CA 92123 | Ph. 619.278.0432 | Ext: 765432

Pronouns she/her/hers

About Editor’s Corner

Editor’s Corner keeps your communication skills sharp by providing information on grammar, punctuation, JHA style, and all things English. As editors, we spend our days reading, researching, and revising other people’s writing. We love to spend a few extra minutes to share what we learn with you and keep it fun while we’re doing it.

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Posted by: episystechpubs | July 13, 2021

Editor’s Corner: Words with Different Meanings

Good morning, friends.

Kara and I receive a lot of emails from various sources to help us keep up with grammar rules, language trends, and fun facts about English. One of our new favorites is a daily email we receive called A.Word.A.Day.

Each week focuses on a new theme. A recent theme was “words with many meanings.” These are not common words like set, for which the Oxford dictionary lists 500 different “senses.” But the fact that they’re not common is one of the things I found interesting. I hope you agree.

Here are the five words, their varied meanings, and their etymology, supplied by A.Word.A.Day:

  • dobber (noun)

Meaning:

  1. An informer
  2. In cricket, a bowler, especially a slow bowler
  3. A float for a fishing line
  4. A large marble

Etymology:

    • For 1, 2: From dob (to inform, to put down, to throw)
    • For 3: From Dutch dobber (float, cork)
    • For 4: From dob, a variant of dab (lump)
    • Earliest documented use: 1836

To see usage examples click here.

A cricket dobber (slow bowler/pitcher)

  • bruit (noun or verb)

Meaning for nouns:

  1. Rumor
  2. Report
  3. Noise
  4. An abnormal sound heard in internal organs in the body during auscultation

Meaning for verbs:

  1. To report
  2. To repeat
  3. To spread a rumor

Etymology: From Anglo-Norman bruire (to make a noise), from Latin brugere, a blending of rugire (to roar) + bragire (to bray). Earliest documented use: 1400.

To see usage examples click here.

  • cameo (noun)

Meaning:

  1. A small sculpture carved in relief on a background of another color
  2. A short description, literary sketch, etc., that effectively presents the subject
  3. A very brief appearance by a well-known actor or celebrity in a film, typically in a non-speaking role
  4. A brief appearance or a minor role.

Etymology: From Italian cammeo, from Latin cammaeus. Earliest documented use: 1561.

To see usage examples click here.

A cameo carved in a shell

A cameo by Alfred Hitchcock in the movie Strangers on a Train.

  • pillbox (noun)

Meaning:

1. A small container for pills

2. A small fortified enclosure, used for firing weapons, observing, etc.

3. A small brimless hat with a flat top and straight sides

4. Something small or ineffectual

Etymology: From pill, from Latin pilula (little ball), from pila (ball) + box, from Old English, from Latin buxis, from pyxis (boxwood box), from Greek pyxis, from pyxos (box tree). Earliest documented use: 1702.

To see usage examples click here.

A pillbox enclosure

Jackie O in a pillbox hat

  • plight (noun or verb)

Meaning for nouns:

1. An unfortunate situation

2. A pledge

3. A fold, wrinkle, braid, etc. Also called plait or pleat

Meaning for verbs:

1. To become engaged to marry

2. To promise [dbb – As in “I plight thee my troth,” which you sometimes hear in wedding vows.]

3. To fold, wrinkle, braid, etc.

Etymology:

    • For noun/verb 1, 2: From Old English pliht (danger)
    • For noun/verb 3: From Anglo-Norman plit (fold, wrinkle, condition), from Latin plicare (to fold)
    • Earliest documented use: 450

To see usage examples click here.

A plight, or unfortunate situation

Have a lovely day today!

Donna Bradley Burcher | Senior Technical Editor | Symitar®

8985 Balboa Ave. | San Diego, CA 92123 | Ph. 619.278.0432 | Ext: 765432

Pronouns she/her/hers

About Editor’s Corner

Editor’s Corner keeps your communication skills sharp by providing information on grammar, punctuation, JHA style, and all things English. As editors, we spend our days reading, researching, and revising other people’s writing. We love to spend a few extra minutes to share what we learn with you and keep it fun while we’re doing it.

Did someone forward this email to you? Click here to subscribe.

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Do you have a question or an idea for Editor’s Corner? Send your suggestions or feedback to Kara and <a href="mailto:DBurcher.

NOTICE: This electronic mail message and any files transmitted with it are intended
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immediately advise the sender by reply email and delete all copies.

Posted by: episystechpubs | July 8, 2021

Editor’s Corner: Good Riddance

The other day a friend and I were discussing someone (okay, we were talking trash) and she said, “Well, good riddance to him!” She followed that with, “I don’t even know what that means.” Judging by our previous conversation, she knew exactly how to use the phrase, meaning “It’s good to be rid of him.” Let’s look a little closer at the meaning and history of this phrase.

From Merriam-Webster:

riddance (noun)

inflected form(s): plural -s

1: an act of ridding, freeing, or cleaning : clearance <the experiments showed high rates of kill with some of them showing 100 percent riddance — J. B. Robson>

2obsolete : progress with a task : dispatch of work

3: deliverance, relief —often used in the phrase good riddance <it’s gone—and good riddance too — Weston LaBarre>

The Phrase Finder provides even more detail on the history of “good riddance.” I’ve cut this down a bit to make it more bite-sized.

‘Riddance’ is now so completely associated with this little phrase that it is rarely, if ever, seen out alone. The only sort of riddance on offer these days is a good one. It wasn’t always thus. In the 16th century a riddance was a general-purpose noun and meant ‘deliverance from’ or ‘getting rid of’. The first adjectives to be linked with the word were fayre/happy/gladsome and, in Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice, 1600, Portia wishes the Prince of Morocco ‘a gentle riddance’….

Shakespeare appears to be the coiner of ‘good riddance’, in Troilus and Cressida, 1606:

Thersites: I will see you hanged, like clotpoles [KC – Stupid people], ere I come any more to your tents: I will keep where there is wit stirring and leave the faction of fools.
[Exits]
Patroclus: A good riddance.

The phrase is often extended and emphasized as ‘good riddance to bad rubbish’ or, as that extended form was first coined, ‘good riddance of bad rubbish’. Tobias Smollett used the phrase in a none too friendly comment, in The Critical Review, 1805:

But we are sorry … to consider Mr. Pratt’s writings as ‘purely evil’ … we should really look upon this author’s departure from the world of literature as a good riddance of bad rubbish.

The American journalist and member of President Andrew Jackson’s ‘Kitchen Cabinet’, Francis Preston Blair, wrote an editorial in The Extra Globe, 1841. In this he appears to have been the first to use the precise version of the phrase that is most commonly used now:

[Following the withdrawal of members of a rival advisory group] From the bottom of our hearts we are disposed to exclaim "Good riddance to bad rubbish."

So, there you have it. It’s definitely not a nice phrase to use, but it sure is accurate. Sometimes people go away and the world gets a little brighter. Here’s hoping you don’t have people in your life you’d like to say “good riddance” to.

Kara Church

Pronouns: she/her/hers

Technical Editor, Advisory

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

Good morning!

Several of you sent me a comic strip several weeks ago about a kid (goat) in a candy shop. I can’t find it in my files, but the main point of it was the homonyms and homophones. There are many -nyms, -phones, and -graphs, and it can get complicated. I found a great article about this on Daily Writing Tips. Here are some definitions, a chart symbolizing how these items cross over, and I have added examples to each of them.

Homonym comes from the Greek homo which means “same” and onym which means “name.” When we talk about words, however, what should we use to define their names? The spelling or the pronunciation? Probably both. Homonyms, therefore, can be defined as two or more words that share the same spelling, or the same pronunciation, or both, but have different meanings.

Since there are several “types” of homonyms (e.g., same spelling but different pronunciation, same pronunciation but different spelling, same spelling and same pronunciation), further categorization is needed. We can say that homonyms represent the big category, from which three sub-categories emerge:

Homophones: two or more words that share the same pronunciation but have different meanings. They may or may not be spelled the same way.

  • brake/break: Use the brake when you bicycle or you may break your neck.
  • cell/sell: You can spend years in a cell if you sell illegal goods.
  • ball, bawl: Sam took Hammy’s ball and Hammy started to bawl, with sad tears running down his face.
  • caret, carat, carrot: The editor marked the document with a red caret to indicate where carrots belonged on the recipe list. As she marked the document with her red pen, her three-carat diamond shined brightly.

Homographs: homonyms that share the same spelling. They may or may not have the same pronunciation.

  • bass: type of fish OR low, deep voice
  • bow: type of knot OR to incline
  • evening: smoothing out OR after sunset
  • minute: tiny OR unit of time
  • moped: was gloomy OR motorcycle
  • wave: move the hand in greeting OR sea water coming into shore

Heteronyms: those are homonyms that share the same spelling but have different pronunciations. That is, they are homographs which are not homophones.

  • Close: CLOZE – to shut; CLOS – near
  • Console: KAHNsole – an upright case; kunSOLE – to comfort
  • Deliberate: diLIBerit – carefully considered; diLIBerATE – to consider
  • Dove: DUV – a bird; DOEV – jumped off
  • House: HAUS – a building that serves as living quarters; HOWZ – to provide with living quarters
  • Minute: MINNit – 60 seconds; myNOOT – tiny

I hope the examples help. And now, some entertainment. Have a great day!

Kara Church

Pronouns: she/her/hers

Technical Editor, Advisory

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

Posted by: episystechpubs | July 2, 2021

Editor’s Corner: Special Edition

Good morning to the few of you who are in the office today!

I bought a book about mondegreens yesterday since I know most of you get a kick out of the misheard song lyrics. This book is called Mondegreens: A Book of Mishearings, by Jacquie Wines. I read a chapter with the Pledge of Allegiance, our national anthem, and other related topics and I thought that the Fourth of July weekend was the perfect time to share. The correct line of the song or pledge is first, followed by the misheard lines. Enjoy!

I pledge allegiance to the flag…

I pledge a lesion to the flag…

I led the pigeons to the flag…

I pledge a lesson to the frog…

And to the Republic for which it stands,

One Nation, under God, indivisible

And to the republic for Richard Stans

Once naked, under God, in a dirigible

And to the republic for witches’ dance

One potion, under guard, invisible

With liberty and justice for all.

With liver tea and dresses for all.

With Libby’s tea and just us four small

With little tea and just rice for all

And then there is the marred Star-Spangled Banner, from Francis Scott Key.

O say, can you see, by the dawn’s early light

Jose, can you see, by the dawn’s early light

O say, can you see, by the danzalay light

Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight

Who brought stripes and fried stars, through the barrel of Sprite

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

O’er the land of the free and the home of the Braves?

Or the lamb of the free and the home of the brave?

From America the Beautiful, we have these:

And crown Thy good, with brotherhood

And crown Thy good Red Riding Hood

And crown Thy good with Robin Hood

From sea to shining sea

From sea to Chinese sea

And, this last set is actually from the Australian national anthem, but why not?

Australians all let us rejoice / For we are young and free

Australians all own ostriches / Four minus one is three

Australians all let us be boys / For we are young and three

Australians let us all meet Joyce / For she is young and free

Australians all eat ostriches / For we are young at three

Australians all eat sausages / For we are young and free

Happy holiday weekend!

Kara Church

Pronouns: she/her/hers

Technical Editor, Advisory

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

Posted by: episystechpubs | July 1, 2021

Editor’s Corner: New Word Thursday

Good morning! Here on the West Coast, it is still early. We’ve got the whole day ahead of us, and it feels like a good one.

I heard a word the other day that is new to me, so I’m going to share it today. If you already know this word, you get brownie points for one-upping the editor.

The word is holophrase.

This word came into English in the 1800s, and it has Greek roots: ­holos meaning “whole entire” and phrásis meaning “diction, style, speech.” Any guesses about what it means?

It’s early, don’t tax yourself too much. I’ll share what I learned. A holophrase is a single word used to express a complete, meaningful thought—the word OK is a good example.

Babies who are learning to talk start with holophrases; in fact, this stage of childhood is called the holophrastic stage. For example, a child will say “Up” instead of “Please pick me up.” Children use holophrases when they are not yet able to put together different parts of speech to make grammatical sentences. Other examples of common childhood holophrases are more, again, down, out, off, food, etc.

These one-word phrases are understood by adults because of the context of the situation along with the child’s body language and tone of voice. After the holophrastic stage, babies begin to use telegraphic speech, which usually consists of two words, for example, “Doggy bark” for “The dog is barking.”

You may see these two stages again during the teen age years. J

Donna Bradley Burcher | Senior Technical Editor | Symitar®

8985 Balboa Ave. | San Diego, CA 92123 | Ph. 619.278.0432 | Ext: 765432

Pronouns she/her/hers

About Editor’s Corner

Editor’s Corner keeps your communication skills sharp by providing information on grammar, punctuation, JHA style, and all things English. As editors, we spend our days reading, researching, and revising other people’s writing. We love to spend a few extra minutes to share what we learn with you and keep it fun while we’re doing it.

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Posted by: episystechpubs | June 29, 2021

Editor’s Corner: Feeling Old

Most days, I feel pretty spry and up for conquering the world. But there are some days, I just feel old. My husband loves to talk about movies or something that happened in the past and then say, “Do you realize that was 20 (or 30 or 40) years ago?”

Well, I might have something for anyone out there who’s feeling slightly senior. Apparently, May was “Older Americans Month,” and Richard Lederer, our local verbivore, wrote an article on getting older for his 83rd birthday. I’ve cut bits and pieces to make it smaller, but the full article is here.

Fullness of years makes for fullness of life. For one thing, you’re surrounded by a lot of friends: As soon as you wake up, Will Power is there to help you get out of bed. Then you go and visit John. When you play golf, Charley Horse shows up to be your partner. As soon as he leaves, along come Arthur Ritis and his six aunts — Aunt Acid, Auntie Pain, Auntie Oxidant, Auntie Biotic, Auntie Coagulant, and Auntie Inflammatory — and you go the rest of the day from joint to joint. After such a busy day, you’re Petered and Tuckered out and glad to go to bed — with Ben Gay, of course!

Another benefit of great maturity is that you’re worth a fortune. You have silver in your hair, gold in your teeth, stones in your kidneys, lead in your feet, mineral deposits in your joints and natural gas in your stomach.

Here’s another medical fact (and I’m not making this up): Studies show that one’s body temperature declines from decade to decade and that the drop becomes particularly pronounced in the elderly. Therefore, old folks are the coolest people on earth.

But wait! There’s more — many more advantages to attaining old age:

§ You are the age you are, but you are also all the ages you have been.

§ Your investment in health insurance is finally paying off.

§ Whatever you buy now won’t wear out.

§ You tolerate pain better than younger people because you know that pain is better than no sensation at all.

§ Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.

§ If you are taken hostage, you will be among the first to be released.

§ Senior discounts.

§ You can brazenly spoil the grandkids and then send them back home to the common enemy.

§ No more zits, no more pregnancy scares; no more Phys Ed, ugly gym uniforms, Algebra, diagramming sentences, pop quizzes, final exams, SATs, study halls or detentions.

§ Fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

§ The speed limit is no longer a challenge to you.

§ Your joints are now more accurate than the National Weather Service.

§ You no longer have to spend big bucks to get your teeth whitened.

§ Nobody expects you to run into a burning building.

§ All those things you couldn’t have as a youth you no longer want.

§ You feel righteous because memory loss passes for a clear conscience.

§ The older you get, the better you were!

§ You are in possession of a gift that so many others have been denied.

Whether you identify as a spring chicken or an old coot, I hope you have a fantastic day.

Kara Church

Pronouns: she/her/hers

Technical Editor, Advisory

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

Posted by: episystechpubs | June 24, 2021

Editor’s Corner: Bunker Malapropisms

Hello, dear readers.

Last week I returned from vacation to an envelope full of articles from our local paper. My dear coworker, Ron, has been busily gathering them for me, while we haven’t been going to the office. Today is material from Richard Lederer’s column, and this time it is about an early 1970s TV character, Archie Bunker. I think I was still watching Sesame Street when All in the Family came out, but I remember my dad loved it. Even if you didn’t see it, you can certainly appreciate some of his malapropisms.

As a reminder, a malapropism is “the mistaken use of an incorrect word in place of a word with a similar sound, resulting in a nonsensical, sometimes humorous utterance. An example is the statement by baseball player Yogi Berra, ‘Texas has a lot of electrical votes,’ rather than ‘electoral votes’.” (Wikipedia)

The full article is here, but these are the excerpts that give great examples of Archie’s malapropisms.

  • It’s a proven fact that capital punishment is a known detergent for crime.
  • This woman could be a kidnapper, making you an excessity after the fact.
  • There’s something rotten in Sweden, Edith. Call it a father’s intermission.
  • Forget it. It’s irreverent. It ain’t German to this conversation.
  • Don’t you never read the papers about all them unflocked priests running around? This here priest ain’t kosher and never was.
  • (about Meathead) Listen to our world traveler, will ya. Ain’t never been past the Chicago stock yards, and now he’s a regular Marco Polish.
  • She’s hanging around my neck like an albacross.
  • Just who the hell are we entertaining here tonight? The Count to Monte Crisco?
  • Whoever sent ’em obviously wanted to remain unanimous.
  • The Mets winning the pennant, that would be a miracle. Yeah, like the immaculate connection.
  • If you was half as sick as me, you’d be laying on that floor waiting for Rigor Morris to set in.
  • You’ve been standing on that phone like a pillow of salt.
  • “Sorry” ain’t gonna clench my thirst.
  • The Bunkers is going to Florida as pre-deranged.
  • I don’t see why you had to drag me to her doctor, this groinocologist guy.
  • (Sniffing a cigar) Edith, this is the nectarine of the gods.
  • It smells like a house of ill refute.
  • You think he’s nice after coming in here, making suppository remarks about our country. And calling me prejudiced while I was singing, “God Bless America,” a song written by a well-known and respected Jewish guy, Milton Berle.

Kara Church

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