Editor's Corner

I received quite a few responses to yesterday’s e-mail. They ranged from the interesting and clever to those that completely missed the point. And then there was my Mom’s solution: “Instead of he or she, I prefer babe.” I suppose we could spice up our documentation with some of that.

Scenario: A member walks into your financial institution and babe wants to deposit $12,500 to savings and $1,000 to checking. After you perform this transaction, babe asks to open a CD for $5,000.

Well, I’ve got to give her credit for trying! Now for the next three suggestions on “Ten Ways to Avoid Gender Bias” from DailyWritingTips.com:

3. Omit the Pronoun

Before: “Ask the student whether he is prepared to give a presentation.”
After: “Ask whether the student is prepared to give a presentation.”

This revision does not clearly indicate whether the student or another person is being asked; writers must recognize and respond to such lack of clarity if it affects comprehension. [KC – Depending on what precedes this sentence, this method can work well.]

4. Repeat the Noun in Place of the Pronoun

Before: “Ask the student whether he is prepared to give a presentation.”
After: “Ask the student whether the student is prepared to give a presentation.”

When the noun is repeated in the proximity shown above, the sentence is awkward; in a more complex sentence, the repetition may not seem so obvious. [KC – This is definitely stilted and sounds horrible.]

5. Use a Plural Antecedent for the Pronoun

Before: “Ask the student whether he is prepared to give a presentation.”
After: “Ask the students whether they are prepared to give their presentations.”

Employing a plural noun and a plural pronoun may change the meaning somewhat; writers must be alert as to which other nouns, if any, should be made plural as well. [KC – This can be a good solution, but sometimes you just need to talk about a
single customer or a single member. Generally people don’t come into a financial institution to do transactions as a big group.

Important:
A common error is to use “they” to avoid the gender-bias. For example, instead of “The CEO called a meeting because
he needed to deliver some fantastic news,” you might see or hear “The CEO called a meeting because
they wanted to deliver some fantastic news.” This is grammatically incorrect, since CEO is a singular noun, and “they” is a pronoun for more than one person.]

Kara Church

Senior Technical Editor

619-542-6773 | Ext: 766773

www.symitar.com

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I was indulging in a guilty pleasure on my way to work—listening to the ‘80s station on XM radio. The now 60-year-old MTV “VJ” Mark Goodman was talking about the Eurythmics and how Annie Lennox (also nearly 60 years old) wrote a riveting article about Margaret Thatcher tearing England apart. “She’s a smart girl,” he said. I nearly veered off the road after hearing that condescension. Under what circumstances would he think it was okay to say “Yeah, that Stephen Hawking is a smart boy”?

So, I don’t have tips on avoiding condescending and judgmental language, but I do have an article about avoiding gender bias in writing. No matter which way you bend, this is good information for business. We will start with the first two items from the DailyWritingTips.com article: “Ten Ways to Avoid Gender Bias”

How do you write around the outmoded usage of the pronoun he or him when a male is not necessarily the subject of the reference? Here are ten strategies—none ideal in every circumstance—for achieving gender neutrality.

1. Use He or She

Before: “Ask the student whether he is prepared to give a presentation.”
After: “Ask the student whether he or she is prepared to give a presentation.”

This solution is stiffly formal and is awkward in repetition; use sparingly. [KC – This is preferred to many options, though.]

Using he/she, s/he, or any such alternative (or an invented neutral pronoun like ze) is not advised. [KC – And is punishable by public flogging.]

2. Alternate Between He and She

Before: “Ask the student whether he is prepared to give a presentation. If he is ready, tell him that he may begin when he is ready.”
After: “Ask the student whether he is prepared to give a presentation. If she is ready, tell her that she may begin when she is ready.”

This solution works only in the case of two or more references to a hypothetical subject of either gender. In the proximity of the references in the examples, this solution is awkward, but when the references are at some distance from each other, it can be effective in moderation. [KC – This is
very unclear. Stay tuned for better options tomorrow.]

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I was just trolling my mailbox for something fun to discuss today (welcome to those of you who have recently joined) and I stumbled on an article from http://grammarist.com/. I guess “fun” is relative, but here’s some info on a special kind of censorship editing and a comic for fellow word nerds. Enjoy!

Bowdlerize

Henrietta and Thomas Bowdler were an English sister and brother who prepared and published an 1807 edition of Shakespeare’s works that was meant to be appropriate for women and children and for families to read together. To accomplish this, they removed or changed many words, phrases, and passages they believed to be racy or offensive. This is the origin of the verb bowdlerize, which means to remove elements considered offensive (from a literary work or other work of art).

Bowdlerization is similar to censorship, but more narrowly defined. Censorship is often official, often politically motivated, and often applied to nonartistic texts, while bowdlerization is usually done by a private individual or group seeking to make a work of art more morally acceptable. Also, censorship often involves outright removal of parts of texts, while bowdlerization often involves cleaning things up but not removing them. The word tends to have negative connotations. Bowdlerizers typically use other terms to describe what they do.

(Thank you for the comic, Jarvae!)

Kara Church

Senior Technical Editor

Today we review a question I got back in February: What is the proper use of alternate vs. alternative? From Common Errors in English Usage, by Paul Brians:

Alternate and Alternative

Although UK authorities disapprove, in US usage, “alternate” is frequently an adjective, substituted for the older “alternative”: “an alternate route.” “Alternate” can also be a noun; a substitute delegate is, for instance, called an “alternate.” But when you’re speaking of “every other” as in “our club

And additional information from Merriam-Webster:

al·ter·nate

· adjective

: occurring or succeeding by turns : one following the other in time: not side by side <stems with alternate leaves>

Substitute for alternative <this highway is an alternate route> <copper may be used as an alternate material> <make an alternate selection>

· verb

: to perform by turns or in succession : interchange regularly <alternate the melodies>

· noun

: a choice between two or among more than two objects or courses : alternative <the port is the alternate to New York as a shipping terminus> <several basic alternates to expansion of the building>

: one that takes the place of another : one that alternates with another: such as an extra person appointed to take the place of another who is unable to perform a certain duty : substitute

al·ter·na·tive

· adjective

: offering a choice of two or more things : <several alternative plans> : expressing a choice or choices <alternative proposition>

: occurring or succeeding by turns : alternate <On alternative days, most stocks seem to be either wildly over-priced or tanking. — Linda Stern Newsweek 3 Apr. 2000>

: different from the usual or conventional: such as a : existing or functioning outside the established cultural, social, or economic system <an alternative newspaper>

· noun

: a proposition or situation offering a choice between two things wherein if one thing is chosen the other is rejected <a government facing the alternative of high taxes or poor highways>

: one of a number of things or courses offered for choice <a third alternative>

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The following excerpts are from the article “Rules Do Change” on www.grammarbook.com. I know we’ve covered not using double spaces after periods, but this takes the rule a bit further. Use the other tidbits to start a scintillating conversation at your next dinner party. 🙂

Spacing after Periods, Colons, Question Marks, and Exclamation Marks

Originally, typewriters had monospaced fonts, so two spaces after ending punctuation marks were used to make the text more legible. However, most computer fonts present no difficulty with proportion or legibility, so use just one space after a period, colon, question mark, or exclamation point at the end of a sentence. You will not be struck by lightning, I promise!

Plurals and Conjunctions

As time has gone on, we have shortened some words and dropped the former plural form.

Example: The words memo and memos used to be memorandum and memoranda.

With the word data, we no longer see the singular datum used at all. Data is now normally used in both the singular and plural form.

Example: The data are being tabulated. The data is useful to the scientists.

Yet other words still retain their original spelling and plural form.

Example: curriculum (singular) and curricula (plural).

In “the old days,” you may have been scolded for starting a sentence with but, and, or because. But you wouldn’t have deserved that scolding. Just make sure that if you start sentences with these words, you follow them with independent clauses.

Good Examples:
But she would never say such a thing!
Because of this bee sting, my arm is swollen.

Bad Examples:
And washed the car.
Because she asked.

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Hello!

Remember the homonyms? Well today we have the letter P, for Peter Piper and his peck of pickled peppers…and for these frequently confused words from The Blue Book of Grammar:

From an e-mail to DailyWritingTips.com (Grammar Girl):

Jane wants to know how to use commas with days of the week. Which is correct?

· Tuesday, April 2, 2013

· Tuesday April 2, 2013

With dates, when you have two words next to each other or two numbers next to each other, you need a comma to separate the two items. So Jane should write, "Monday, January 5, 2009."

I hope your Tuesday is going swimmingly!

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Huzzah, hurrah, it is the last day of Ben Yagoda. Why am I down on Ben? Well, here’s one reason. His article “7 grammar rules you really should pay attention to” lists this as rule seven: Words. Dude, what kind of rule is that?! Still, I’m not one to start things I can’t finish, and I must agree with his bullets, so let’s put this thing to rest. I will call it:

Rule 7: Check the Dictionary

As I noted in my previous article, the meaning of words inevitably and perennially change. And you can get in trouble when you use a meaning that has not yet been widely accepted. Sometimes it’s fairly easy to figure out where a word stands in this process. It’s become more common to use nonplussed to mean not bothered, or unfazed, but that is more or less the opposite of the traditional meaning, and it’s still too early to use it that way when you’re writing for publication. (As is spelling unfazed as unphased.) On the other hand, no one thinks anymore that astonish means "turn to stone," and it would be ridiculous to object to anyone who does so. But there are a lot of words and expressions in the middle. Here’s one man’s list of a few meanings that aren’t quite ready for prime time:

· Don’t use begs the question. Instead use raises the question.

· Don’t use phenomena or criteria as singular. Instead use phenomenon or criterion.

· Don’t use cliché as an adjective. Instead use clichéd.

· Don’t use comprised of. Instead use composed of/made up of.

· Don’t use less for count nouns such people or miles. Instead use fewer.

· Don’t use penultimate (unless you mean second to last). Instead use ultimate.

· Don’t use lead as past tense of to lead. Instead use led.

I hesitate to state what should be obvious, but sometimes the obvious must be stated. So here goes: Do not use it’s, you’re or who’s when you mean its, your or whose. Or vice versa!

Bye-bye, Ben!

Kara Church

Senior Technical Editor

619-542-6773 | Ext: 766773

www.symitar.com

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We’re almost there, folks! Today is rule six from Ben Yagoda’s article “7 grammar rules you really should pay attention to.” Note: The two of us in Symitar Editing do not support Mr. Yagoda’s semicolon bashing. In fact, my faithful co-editor, Donna, has declared an undying love for this punctuation mark. 🙂

Rule 6: Use Semicolons with Care

I sometimes say that when you feel like using a semicolon, lay lie down till the urge goes away. But if you just can’t resist, remember that there are really only two proper uses for this piece of punctuation. One is to separate two complete clauses (a construction with a subject and verb that could stand on its own as a sentence). I knocked on the door; no one answered. The second is to separate list items that themselves contain punctuation. Thus, The band played Boise, Idaho; Schenectady, New York; and Columbus, Ohio.

Do not use a semicolon in place of a colon, for example, There is only one piece of punctuation that gives Yagoda nightmares; the semicolon.

One more thing: Be careful when spelling the word semicolon. It is one word without a hyphen. A semi-colon is not punctuation; it is what you get when you have a bad gastrointestinal surgeon.

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Today’s topic is based on the fifth item in the article “7 grammar rules you really should pay attention to,” by Ben Yagoda. Since his article was a little too suggestive for mixed company, I am using the description and examples of dangling modifiers from the Purdue OWL:

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/597/1/)

The article is a bit lengthy, but I wanted to provide you with something useful to keep as a reference. The examples below include examples of the modifiers how to un-dangle them.

Rule 5: Avoid Dangling Modifiers

A dangling modifier is a word or phrase that modifies a word not clearly stated in the sentence. A modifier describes, clarifies, or gives more detail about a concept.

Having finished the assignment, Jill turned on the TV.

"Having finished" states an action but does not name the doer of that action. In English sentences, the doer must be the subject of the main clause that follows. In this sentence, it is Jill. She seems logically to be the one doing the action ("having finished"), and this sentence therefore does not have a dangling modifier.

The following sentence has an incorrect usage:

Having finished the assignment, the TV was turned on.

"Having finished" is a participle expressing action, but the doer is not the TV set (the subject of the main clause): TV sets don’t finish assignments. Since the doer of the action expressed in the participle has not been clearly stated, the participial phrase is said to be a dangling modifier.

Strategies for revising dangling modifiers:

1. Name the appropriate or logical doer of the action as the subject of the main clause:

Having arrived late for practice, a written excuse was needed.

Who arrived late? This sentence says that the written excuse arrived late. To revise, decide who actually arrived late. The possible revision might look like this:

Having arrived late for practice, the team captain needed a written excuse.

The main clause now names the person (the captain) who did the action in the modifying phrase (arrived late).

2. Change the phrase that dangles into a complete introductory clause by naming the doer of the action in that clause:

Without knowing his name, it was difficult to introduce him.

Who didn’t know his name? This sentence says that "it" didn’t know his name. To revise, decide who was trying to introduce him. The revision might look something like this:

Because Maria did not know his name, it was difficult to introduce him.

The phrase is now a complete introductory clause; it does not modify any other part of the sentence, so is not considered "dangling."

3. Combine the phrase and main clause into one:

To improve his results, the experiment was done again.

Who wanted to improve results? This sentence says that the experiment was trying to improve its own results. To revise, combine the phrase and the main clause into one sentence. The revision might look something like this:

He improved his results by doing the experiment again.

Can’t get enough? There’s more here:

· http://grammarist.com/grammar/danglers/

· http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dangling_modifier

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