Editor's Corner

Friday Tom Swifties

Hello, my darlings! I have some more Tom Swifties for you from the article, “Let’s Play a Punderful Word Game!” Said Tom Swiftly, by the king of puns, Richard Lederer. I also have a few from a contest he ran in the local paper after that.

I hope you have been enjoying them and getting the hang of how they work. I have a suspicious feeling that I may need to have a contest again really soon, and I think I’ll be asking for Tom Swifties from you! Until then, enjoy!

· “I ain’t talking to my mother’s mother no more,” said Tom ungrammatically.

· “I’m trying to get some air to circulate under the roof,” said Tom fanatically.

· “Your Honor, you must be crazy,” said Tom judgmentally.

· “That’s a really ugly river beast,” said Tom hypocritically.

· “I’ve just removed the defense mechanisms from this skunk,” said Tom distinctly.

· “I’m going to kill Dracula,” said Tom painstakingly.

· “This just doesn’t add up,” said Tom nonplussed.

· “Be sure to feed kitty her cod liver oil,” said Tom catatonically.

· “Please serve me a bowl of that Chinese soup,” said Tom wantonly.

From the contest:

· “We’re mounting this lion’s nether region on our den wall,” Tom said catastrophically. — Jean Graham, San Diego

· “I cleared out the clogged drain in the kitchen with a vacuum pump,” said Tom succinctly. — Millie Bobleter, Oceanside

· “In a pinch, I can use my hatchet as a toothpick,” said Tom accidentally. — Michael Clark, Escondido

· “Tickets to the musical drama were restricted,” said Tom operationally. — Dot Koerner, Ramona

Kara Church

Technical Editor, Advisory

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Symitar Documentation Services

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Dear Editrix,

Sometimes I see the word versus written out and other times I see it abbreviated as vs. or v. What gives?

Sincerely,

Joe Versus the Volcano

Dear Joe,

Here are some interesting tidbits about the word versus:

· Versus (Latin) is a preposition meaning against.

· Though versus is a preposition, we capitalize it in titles because it is longer than five characters.

· According to the Chicago Manual of Style, the names of legal cases should be italicized and you should use the single-letter abbreviation of versus (v.). For example:

o Kramer v. Kramer

o Miranda v. Arizona

· When writing and using versus in normal prose, it is usually spelled out; if you abbreviate it, use the longer abbreviation (vs.).

Sincerely,

Editrix

Kara Church

Technical Editor, Advisory

619-542-6773 | Ext: 766773

Symitar Documentation Services

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Over the years, I’ve heard comments and arguments about using the term issue to mean problem. I think it is because we like to couch the negative in a word that seems a little less dire, but issue and problem are not synonymous, so using them as synonyms is incorrect. I don’t have a solution to this dilemma, since I understand that as a client, I don’t want to hear about problems. (Of course, I don’t want to hear about issues, either, especially when I know that is a code word for problem.)

Anyway, this is thought-provoking article for you to consider. (Thanks, Mark W.)

From Everything Language and Grammar:

You Have Problems, Not Issues [KC – Ain’t that the truth?]

Somewhere, at some point over the recent past, someone decided that it was no longer acceptable for a person to say what he or she means; it was no longer acceptable to speak in precise, direct words. And what’s worse, someone, somewhere decided that we should all be offended when someone calls a problem a problem! Everything has to be translated into some sort of euphemism. I don’t really know why it started, but can we please stop referring to every problem as an issue?

An employee no longer has a problem keeping up with production; he has an issue. A child no longer has a problem behaving in class; she has an issue. A married couple in therapy no longer has problems in their marriage; they have issues.

Even bad weather now causes performance issues on the football field and traffic issues on the road; and a basketball player with a sprained ankle has an ankle issue. I’m not sure what’s so offensive about discussing traffic problems, health problems, or a sloppy football game. Is it just me?

The problem—that is, what’s wrong—with substituting issue for problem is that those two words are not synonymous—and no amount of being politically correct, disingenuous, or even condescending—yes, it can be condescending—will make it so.

An issue is a topic, such as The candidates will discuss the issues at the debate. That means that the candidates will discuss the different topics, or subject areas, involved in running our country.

A problem is something negative. A problem is something that needs to be solved. A problem is something that we try to overcome. A problem is something that we don’t want. There, I’ve said it. And it feels great. [KC – Woo hoo! I heard it. And I feel great!]

An issue is not a problem, but I’ll tell you what is a problem: the grammatically incorrect trend of telling someone that he has an issue when what you really mean is that he has a problem. Call it what it is, and it’ll be easier to solve.

Sherry

Kara Church

Technical Editor, Advisory

619-542-6773 | Ext: 766773

Symitar Documentation Services

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Good morning, people!

Or, is that persons? According to Grammar Girl (Mignon Fogarty), an article on the Grammarist website, and the cringe I get when I hear persons, people is generally the right choice.

We traditionally used people to refer to a mass of persons or an uncountable group. Or, as Merriam-Webster says, “human beings not individually known or considered as individuals.” For example:

· Even though the weather was mediocre, the ocean was filled with people on Memorial Day.

· Screaming people filtered down to the field after the home team won.

The word persons was customarily the plural of person and indicated a countable number of individuals. For example:

· Three persons brought blenders as gifts to Tina and George’s wedding.

· Despite the warning, 20 persons stood on the balcony that was built for 15.

Now, people is used most often as the plural of person, and persons is considered archaic. Before you start composing an email to argue with me about this, I know that persons is still pretty common out there in some fields. Of course, our goal in technical communication is to be clear and concise. The fields where you still find the word persons are places like government and law—not exactly fields renowned for their straightforward language.

I did a search of Episys eDocs for persons and found quite a few examples:

· persons and companies

· persons subject to child support laws

· Specifically Designated Nations and Blocked Persons list

· natural persons (as opposed to credit unions)

Not surprisingly, most of this language is from government regulations and compliance.

So go forth and refer to the people. Our Founding Fathers did, and it sure sounds more pleasing to the ear than “We the Persons…”

Kara Church

Technical Editor, Advisory

619-542-6773 | Ext: 766773

Symitar Documentation Services

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Who ever thought that a good (or bad) ol’ pun would warm the cockles of so many hearts? I sure didn’t! Since they seem so popular, I thought I’d introduce you to some special puns called Tom Swifties. Tom Swifties are based on the adventures of Tom Swift, over 100 books in which the characters have a strong propensity towards adverbs. You can read more details about the origin of Tom Swifties in the first few paragraphs of the article, “Let’s Play a Punderful Word Game!” Said Tom Swiftly, by the king of puns, Richard Lederer.

Mr. Lederer describes them as puns “in which the adverb at the end of the sentence takes off punningly from the quotation, as in ‘I dropped by toothpaste, said Tom crestfallen.’”

You’ll get the drift as you read through some of them. Enjoy!

· “I love pancakes,” said Tom flippantly.

· “My pants are wrinkled,” said Tom ironically.

· “I lost my flower,” said Tom lackadaisically.

· “My favorite statue is the Venus de Milo,” said Tom disarmingly.

· “I love reading Moby-Dick,” said Tom superficially.

· “My glasses are all fogged up,” said Tom optimistically.

· “I’ll take the prisoner downstairs,” said Tom condescendingly.

· “I’m sorry that my jet propulsion system didn’t get the rocket to the moon,” said Tom apologetically.

· “My stereo is finally fixed,” said Tom ecstatically.

· “My family has a great future,” said Tom clandestinely.

· “I passed my electrocardiogram,” said Tom wholeheartedly.

· “What I do best on camping trips is sleep,” said Tom intently.

· “I’m back from my frontal lobotomy,” said Tom absent-mindedly.

· “I manufacture table tops,” said Tom counterproductively.

· “I’m wearing my wedding ring,” said Tom with abandon.

Kara Church

Technical Editor, Advisory

619-542-6773 | Ext: 766773

Symitar Documentation Services

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The other day I received an email that caught my eye because of its title: “Frogmarch or frog-march.” I’d never heard that term before, but I had a vision of cute little tree frogs hopping along in line with their bayonets and bandoliers. Here is a portion of the definition for you. Not so cute, but educational. (See the Grammarist website for the full article.)

Frogmarch or frog-march

To frog-march is to make or require someone to move forward by shoving from behind. This verb is not just forcing the person to walk, but to do so roughly and with some violence. Some dictionaries go so far as to say the person being made to walk must have his or her arms pinned down or restricted….

The term does come from a frog being pinned down on a tray while it is being dissected. In the past the term was used for physically carrying someone out of a room, usually a disorderly person that would require being held at four points and his or her legs and arms would be spread out, like a frog.

Now for some shoving from behind with a happier outcome: Funani and Devi.

Kara Church

Technical Editor, Advisory

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Symitar Documentation Services

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It’s been a while since we’ve heard from the original Grammar Girl herself, Mignon Fogarty. Here’s a brief excerpt from her book, The Grammar Devotional (p.187):

The Ownership of Time

People often ask how to write about a length of time or an amount of money. Do you need an apostrophe? If you do, does it go at the end?

Think of the years, days, minutes, or dollars owning the noun. That means the correct way to write such phrases is with an apostrophe. Then the same rules apply as any other possessive: if your word is singular, add an apostrophe s; if it’s plural, the apostrophe goes at the end:

· One year’s time

· Twenty years’ experience

· Two weeks’ notice

Kara Church

Technical Editor, Advisory

619-542-6773 | Ext: 766773

Symitar Documentation Services

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Today we’re revisiting one of the top requests we get here in our little corner. Readers cry, “Please explain affect and effect!” It can be tricky because both are verbs and both are nouns. Let’s see if this explanation from the University of Kansas can help. It includes examples and some helpful hints, though I cut a few items out and reformatted it for easier reading. Good luck! (For the original article, click here.)

Affect as a verb. (The norm) To have an influence on; to impress or to move; to produce a change in something or someone.

Example: His study was intended to show how alcohol affects reaction time.

Effect as a noun. (Common usage) Something brought about; a result.

Example: They discussed the effect of the law on children.

Effect as a noun. (Common usage) The way one thing acts upon another.

Example: The effect of the law has been to increase the use of alcohol.

Effect as a verb. (Not common, but acceptable in rare cases.) To produce a result; to cause something to occur; to bring about an outcome.

Example: Smith said the cutbacks were designed to effect basic economies for the company.

While correct in this case, is it really clear to all readers? A better alternative:

· Smith said the cutbacks were designed to implement (make happen) basic economies for the company.

· Smith said the cutbacks were designed to bring about (produce a result) basic economies for the company.

Affect as a noun. Forget it; you’re in journalism, not psychiatry (though you might wind up in therapy). Affect as a noun means an emotional state as contrasted to a cognition.

A Quick and Easy Guide to Affect and Effect

1. Determine if the usage calls for a verb or a noun.

2. If a verb is needed, 95 percent of the time or more the word you want is affect. It means to change or to alter.

· The weather affects our moods.

· Nutrition affects health.

· The seasons affect trees and flowers.

· The quality of your work affects your grade.

3. The occasional need for effect as a verb arises when the narrow meaning “to cause or to bring about” is appropriate. These rare occasions often occur in some form of the expression “to effect a change” or, in police jargon, “to effect an arrest” (to cause or make an arrest happen). Nevertheless, it’s still best to avoid, particularly in the last example because it’s simply police jargon, and it’s good to avoid jargon.

4. When a noun is required, the word is almost always effect. This means “a result.”

· The effect of diligent study habits is better learning.

· The effect of making the correct choice is a better grade.

5. Affect can be a noun, but its use is almost entirely reserved for psychological jargon. You could have a long career as a writer and editor and never encounter the need for the noun affect.

6. So be ready to make almost all verbs affect.

7. And be ready to make virtually all nouns effect.

Kara Church

Technical Editor, Advisory

619-542-6773 | Ext: 766773

Symitar Documentation Services

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Good morning!

A couple of weeks ago I shared a list of common English idioms with you, and in return, I asked you to share your favorite idioms, English or otherwise, with me. Thanks to everyone who submitted—and thanks for providing the translations for the non-English idioms. (I did not investigate these translations to make sure the submitters got them right. If you can’t trust an Editor’s Corner reader, who the heck can you trust?) Here are all the idioms I received that are fit to print. J

Donna Bradley Burcher | Technical Editor, Senior | Symitar®

8985 Balboa Ave. | San Diego, CA 92123 | Ph. 619.278.0432 | Ext: 765432

Symitar Technical Publications Writing and Editing Requests

Since many of you enjoyed the puns last week, I thought I’d send some more to you. The first collection is from Tyrannosaurus Lex: The Marvelous Book of Palindromes, Anagrams, & Other Delightful & Outrageous Wordplay, by Rod L. Evans, Ph.D. The second set is from one of our co-workers. Thanks, Rich!

From Tyrannosaurus:

· If you don’t pay your exorcise, you get repossessed.

· A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

· Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

· A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

· A boiled egg is hard to beat.

· The guy who fell into an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

· Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

And from Richard:

· A tied piece of cord with a worn end walks into a bar. The bar tender says “We don’t serve cords in this bar and you’re a cord aren’t you?” To which the cord replies, “I’m a frayed knot.”

· I like my pasta the way I like my Italian literature: All Dante.

· Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says “dam.”

· I have to stop talking to my friends about mitosis since it is such a divisive topic.

· One atom says to the other, “I think I lost an electron.” The other asks, “Are you sure?” To which the other replies, “I’m positive!”

· Why doesn’t Karl Marx drink Earl Grey? Because all proper tea is theft.

· You hear about the band that calls themselves 1023MB? Probably not since they haven’t had any gigs yet.

Kara Church

Technical Editor, Advisory

Symitar Documentation Services