Editor's Corner

Hello! Today is part two of the malaphor contest results. Shawn, Mary, Brandi, and Keith, I thank you all and appreciate your submissions. Keith, you are one of our lucky winners, and your copy of He Smokes Like a Fish and Other Malaphors should already be on its way to you.

And before you get started, another warning: there are some PG-13 items in here.

Shawn Shepard

• There’s no use crying over water under the bridge.
• It’s time to fish or get off the pot.
• A stitch in time gathers no moss.
• One man’s trash is in the eye of the beholder.
• Fortune favors more than you can shake a stick at.
• Don’t make a mountain out of a hill of beans.
• Up the creek with a fish out of water.
• If you can’t stand the storm in the teacup, get out of the kitchen.
• Let bygones go jump in the lake.
• There’s more than one way to nip it in the bud.

• Straighten up and go with the flow.

Brandi Binion

• All that glitters is having cake and eating it too.
• You can lead a horse to water, but every dog has its day.
• An apple a day keeps the horse from drinking water.
• Monkey see, monkey heard it through the grapevine.
• Absence leads two to tango.
• Absence costs an arm and a leg.
• Absence makes the heart measure twice but cut once.

• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; give a man a rod and he will get the milk for free.

Mary Fleenor

• Let sleeping dogs lie like a dog.
• Flat as a fiddle.
• He’s a pig in a blanket.
• Money makes the world go rogue.
• Slow as molasses.
• Better half of one and six dozen of another.
• Jumping the shark tank.
• Spiking a cabin fever.
• She pulled the blanket of snow over her head.
• Pull the wool over your eyes on the prize.
• Flogging a gift horse in the mouth.
• Swept under the rug rats.
• Squeaky wheels of justice get the grease.
• Profits fell through the roof last year.
• He’s got cold feet to the fire.
• Three sheets to the wind tunnel.
• Sea of lovesick.
• Steaming hot cup of Joe Boxer.
• A rose by any other name would stink after three days.
• You are what you eat like a pig.

Keith Slayton

• There is no sense crying when the tough get going.
• Biting off more than a dead horse.
• Don’t judge a book by the skin of your teeth.
• He made his bed before they hatched.
• Caught between a rock and a cold shoulder.
• Kill two birds with a nail on the head.
• Letting the cat out of the horse’s mouth.
• That costs more than you can chew.
• Fit as a blue moon.
• You can’t make an omelet without breaking a second wind.
• You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t steal his thunder.
• Cool as a couch potato.
• Comparing apples to cold turkey.
• Don’t count your chickens when pigs fly.
• Every cloud has spilt milk.
• Elvis has left the two stools.
• Possession is nine tenths; and that is a friend indeed.
• The early bird is worth two in the bush.
• Wound up like a woman scorned!
• No pain, when you’re having fun.
• Your guess is the benefit of the doubt.
• Wrap your head around the drawing board.

Thank you again for your participation!

Ace Slayton “enjoying” his dad’s copy of the prize book.

Kara Church

Pronouns: she/her/hers

Technical Editor, Advisory

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