Posted by: Jack Henry | April 3, 2018

Editor’s Corner: Tuesday Church Bloopers

Good morning! I’ve been scraping the bottom of the barrel to find new church bulletin bloopers for you. Here are a few more for you from and Angelfire (no, I did not make that up). Enjoy!

  1. Don’t miss this Saturday’s exhibit by Christian Martian Arts.
  2. We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.
  3. A worm welcome to all who have come today.
  4. The ushers will come forward and take our ties and offerings.
  5. Applications are now being accepted for 2-year-old nursery workers.
  6. Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.
  7. Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
  8. Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
  9. The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
  10. Hymn: “I Love Thee My Ford.”
  11. We would like to congratulate Tony and Renee on the birth of their 4th child this week.
  12. Revival Friday night with Jack Daniels!
  13. The Little Mothers Group will be meeting on Thursday mornings at 10:00 a.m. Anyone interested in becoming a Little Mother please see the Pastor in his study.
  14. A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.
  15. Glory of God to all and peas to his people on earth.
  16. Men’s Prayer Breakfast. No charge, but your damnation will be gratefully accepted.
  17. Instructions:
  • The pastor will light his candle from the altar candles.
  • The ushers will light their candle from the pastor’s candle.
  • The ushers will turn and light each worshipper in the first pew.

I had a funny church sign photo, but my editor said it might offend some, so instead I will send you a photo of Harvey, my dog, who graduated from basic training a week ago. Hopefully this is not disturbing to you!

The Graduate

Kara Church

Technical Editor, Advisory

Symitar Documentation Services

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