Posted by: episystechpubs | January 31, 2014

Editor’s Corner: Lean, mean mondegreen!

Before you get your treat, this is the last reminder to send me new subscribers for Editor’s Corner. I am extending the contest to the end of the day in hopes that I can break the tie between Jim Vivoli and Megan Altis. Remember, all you need to do is recommend this column to your friends and coworkers and have them email me at kchurch to sign up. (They should tell me you sent them so you get the points.) The winner will be announced Monday. Now, down to business!

Back by popular demand, for the end of FUN week, I have a collection of mondegreens for you. In short, mondegreens are misheard song lyrics. For an extended description, see the Wikipedia article here. The following are some of the cleaner mondegreens I borrowed from When a Man Loves a Walnut and from ‘Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy, both collections by Gavin Edwards.

I’ve listed the singer first, followed by the name of the song. On the second line are the misheard lyrics, followed by the actual lyrics in parentheses. Yes, sometimes the actual lyrics sound crazier than the misheard ones. It’s easy to understand how some of these mix-ups occur!


Bread (Baby I’m-a Want You)

Baby I’m a warm shoe, baby I’m a neat shoe. (Baby I’m-a want you, baby I’m-a need you.)

Michael Jackson (Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’)

Mamma say mamma saw my moccasin (Ma ma se mama sa ma ma coo sa)

Elton John (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road)

Goodbye yellow brick road/With the darkened sorority house. (Goodbye yellow brick road/ where the dogs of society howl.)

Nirvana (Smells Like Teen Spirit)

I’m blotto and bravado/I’m a scarecrow and a Beatle. (A mulatto, an albino/A mosquito, my libido.)

The Beatles (Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds)

The girl with colitis goes by (The girl with kaleidoscope eyes)

Pearl Jam (Glorified G)

Forty-five versions of a pelican. (Glorified version of a pellet gun.)

Peter Gabriel (Shock the Monkey)

Jaques the monkey. (Shock the monkey.)

Carl Carlton (She’s a Bad Mama Jama)

She wears bad plaid pajamas. (She’s a bad mama jama.)

TLC (Waterfalls)

Go, go, Jason Waterfalls. (Don’t go chasin’ waterfalls.)

Def Leppard (Pour Some Sugar on Me)

Poor son, shoot your own leg. (Pour some sugar on me.)

The Pretenders (Brass in Pocket)

· Gonna use my sausage.

· Gonna use my soft-sell.

· Gonna use my senses.

· Gonna use my sauté.

· Gonna use my sassy.

(Gonna use my sidestep.)

Elton John (Rocket Man)

· Rocket man, burning up the trees on every lawn.

· Rocket man, turning out his shoes for everyone.

(Rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone.)

David Bowie (Space Oddity)

Clown Control to Mao Tse-Tung. (Ground control to Major Tom.)

Kara Church

Senior Technical Editor

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