Editor's Corner

Hello, folks!

I’ll be out next week, so I’m leaving you with this article by Richard Lederer, from our local newspaper. It’s a little long, so you can make it last the whole week. The entire article is available online here, or you can read it below.

Student bloopers win a lot of Pullet Surprises

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. The original classroom blunder probably dates back to the day that some unsuspecting pupil first touched quill to parchment. All the fluffs and flubs, goofs and gaffes and boo-boos, blunders, and bloopers that I share with you today are genuine, certified, and unretouched.

The results range from the pathetic to the hilarious to the unintentionally insightful. The title of this column, for example, is based on a famous classroom faux pas: “In 1957, Eugene O’Neill won a Pullet Surprise.” Other students have given bizarre twists to history by asserting that Wyatt Burp and Wild Bill Hiccup were two great western marshals and that the inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

Sometimes the humor issues from a confusion between two words. Working independently, students have written, “Having one wife is called monotony,” “When a man has more than one wife, he is a pigamist,” “A man who marries twice commits bigotry,” and “Acrimony is what a man gives his divorced wife.”

While one student reminisced, “Each Thanksgiving it is a tradition for my family to shoot peasants,” another observed, “In 19th century Russia, the pheasants led horrible lives.” And, reversing a “g” and “q,” a young man once wrote, “When a boy and a girl are deeply in love, there is no quilt felt between them.”

Sidesplitting slips like these are collected by teachers throughout the world, who don’t mind sharing a little humor while taking their jobs seriously. I offer my favorite student howlers, each skewed and skewered sentence a certifiably pure and priceless gem of fractured English and worthy of a Pullet Surprise:

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Although the patient had never been fatally ill before, he woke up dead.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Arabs wear turbines on their heads.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>When there are no fresh vegetables, you can always get canned.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>It is bad manners to break your bread and roll in your soup.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>We had a longer holiday than usual this year because the school was closed for altercations.

Students often revise history beyond recognition:

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>The Great Wall of China was built to keep out the mongrels.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>The Puritans thought every event significant because it was a massage from God.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>A landmark in Paris is the Eyeful Tower.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>The President of the United States, in having foreign affairs, has to have the consent of the Senate.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>The difference between a king and a president is that a king is the son of his father, but a president isn’t.

Bloopers abound in all types of classrooms. Take these (please!) from Science class:

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Our new teacher told us all about fossils. Before she came to class, I didn’t know what a fossil looked like.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Elephants eat roots, leaves, grasses, and sometimes bark.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Dinosaurs used to smell bad, but they don’t anymore because they are extinct.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>A liter is a lot of newborn puppies.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>The equator is an imaginary lion that runs around the world forever.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>A skeleton is a man with his outside off and his inside sticking out.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>In Chemistry class, we studied mean old acids.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Without electricity we would still be in the Dark Ages.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Many women believe that an alcoholic binge will have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Heredity means that if your grandfather didn’t have any children, then your father probably wouldn’t have any, and neither would you, probably.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Genetics explains why you look like your father and, if you don’t, why you should.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>Last year many lives were caused by accidents.

<![if !supportLists]>· <![endif]>A molecule is so small that it can’t be seen by the naked observer.

Students of the world, rewrite! We who are about to grade salute you! All teachers who receive such bloopers tell themselves that the laughter is not at the students but at what they have written. After all, as one young scholar has written, “Adolescence is the stage between puberty and adultery.”

Happy Valentine’s Day and Happy Presidents’ Day!

Kara Church | Technical Editor, Advisory | Technical Publications

Pronouns: she/her | Call via Teams | jackhenry.com

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

Good morning, fellow travelers!

I only have two more Valentine’s Day-related phrases for you from my buddy Ron:

• Love is like the wind
• Valentine’s Day Sucks

I think you can see which camp he’s in when it comes to this day. He said he was joking about “Valentine’s Day Sucks,” but when I first read his email, I thought both of these phrases were jokes.

“Love is like the wind”? I was thinking I’d never heard that. And I was also thinking, “If love is like the wind and your mate eats a lot of beans, well that’s a bad thing, isn’t it?” I searched for this phrase, and at first I was coming up empty.

I tried it again, and this time I found a person’s name associated with “love is like the wind.” (I keep singing the 1980’s song Ride Like the Wind when I read this phrase, and it’s throwing me off. It wasn’t Christopher Cross.)

“Love is like the wind” is from an American author, Nicholas Sparks. You may recognize him from his 23 bestsellers, or perhaps the movie The Notebook. When you read the full line, and his explanation, it makes more sense.

“Love is like the wind, you can’t see it, but you can feel it." Which is why I believe you can never say that love is not around you, you have to believe that it’s surrounding you and have faith that you are loved and are willing to love back.

My maturity level is not the highest at times. I keep reading that as “Love is like the wind, you can’t see it, but you can smell it.” Maybe that’s because I married a man with a bean intolerance?

Happy (early) Valentine’s Day!

And Sylvie sends big kisses to everyone!

Kara Church | Technical Editor, Advisory | Technical Publications

Pronouns: she/her | Call via Teams | jackhenry.com

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

Good morning, dear humans!

Today I’m gearing up to share another love-related idiom with you, though I don’t remember if Ron sent me this one, or if I found it while searching for answers. Today’s idiom is “love is blind.” The meaning of this is that love makes you unable to see someone’s faults. I like this because Chaucer used something similar in The Merchant’s Tale, near the year 1405. Just be glad we don’t write our documentation in old English:

For loue is blynd alday and may nat see.

For almost 200 years, it sat on the sidelines and wasn’t recorded in any documents. And then came Shakespeare. That dude could make a line sing. He liked this phrase so much, he used it in several plays, including Two Gentlemen of Verona, Henry V, and this example from The Merchant Of Venice, 1596:

JESSICA: Here, catch this casket; it is worth the pains.
I am glad ’tis night, you do not look on me,
For I am much ashamed of my exchange:
But love is blind and lovers cannot see
The pretty follies that themselves commit;
For if they could, Cupid himself would blush
To see me thus transformed to a boy.

A little more from this article from Phrases tells us:
Modern-day research supports the view that the blindness of love is not just a figurative matter. A research study in 2004 by University College London found that feelings of love suppressed the activity of the areas of the brain that control critical thought.

As we approach the dreaded day where Cupid draws back his bow (and let’s his arrow go), be careful out there and keep your eyes open! Here’s a little gift for you from Sam Cooke.

Kara Church | Technical Editor, Advisory | Technical Publications

Pronouns: she/her | Call via Teams | jackhenry.com

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

Good morning, little chickadees.

Today’s love-related idiom (or more accurately, phrase) is “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Unlike many idioms I look into, this phrase appears throughout history, with varied wording from different sources. The first article that I looked at said that Plato used this phrase in ancient Greece, but then the article didn’t pinpoint the use. Essentially it means what it says: the longer you are away from someone that you love, the stronger your love becomes.

Here is some information that I found in Your Dictionary.

Some research states the phrase was first published in 1602 as the first line of an anonymous poem in Francis Davison’s anthology Poetical Rhapsody, although this has been disputed.

Similar sentiments, if not the actual phrasing, were found in Thomas Overbuy’s work Characters published in 1616—“Absence doth sharpen love, presence strengthens it”—and James Howell’s Familiar Letters in 1650: "Distance sometimes endears friendship, and absence sweetens it.” This tends to happen with the creation of poetry, storytelling, and lyrics. Since the human experience is a shared one, it’s only natural that our expressions of emotion will overlap with one another.

However, many believe that it was Thomas Haynes Bayly who brought the notion to life in his poem titled Isle of Beauty which appeared in his two-volume work Songs, Ballads, and Other Poems in 1844. He wrote:

"What would not I give to wander
Where my old companions dwell?
Absence makes the heart grow fonder;
Isle of Beauty, fare thee well!"

Later on, people started making fun of the idea, starting in the 1930s with the song titled “Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder (for Somebody Else). The song has been covered by many people through the years.

Modern magazines have also written about the difficulty of “long-distance” relationships. The little bit of romance in me chooses to focus on Bayly’s poem.

Have a sweet day!

Kara Church | Technical Editor, Advisory | Technical Publications

Pronouns: she/her | Call via Teams | jackhenry.com

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

I recently received an email from a former JH employee. We were in the same department when he retired, and we have a common love of the English language. Ron is the supplier of the Richard Lederer articles I share with you.

Ron asked me to do some research and a little series on several phrases around Valentine’s Day. I know, to some, the day doesn’t matter. To others, it’s a sweet romantic day for special dinners, flowers, and ooh la la. And still others find it an awful day to be alone. I’m just going to delve into these phrases and I hope these idioms give you a little cheer.

Today’s phrase is “wearing your heart on your sleeve.”

No, this is not an idea for a Halloween costume. To “wear your heart on your sleeve” means that you express your emotions openly. For example, I would be a horrible poker player because I wear my heart on my sleeve. You can tell exactly what I’m feeling or thinking, just by looking at my face; there’s no hiding.

So where did this phrase come from?

According to Grammar Monster:

This idiom originates from jousting tournaments by medieval knights, probably around the 14th century. Back then, it was customary for a knight to dedicate his performance to a specific lady. To show he was her "champion," the knight would wear a personal item (usually a scarf) around his arm. This would be a public display of his romantic intentions towards the lady. This is why "sleeve" is chosen in the proverb. As for "heart," the heart has long been a symbol of emotion, particularly love.

Forget red roses! I could definitely get behind some jousting!

More love phrases coming your way soon!

Kara Church | Technical Editor, Advisory | Technical Publications

Pronouns: she/her | Call via Teams | jackhenry.com

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

A couple of weeks ago, one of you said that you were talking to your kids and said, “Well that really opens up a can of worms.” Your children responded dumbfounded with, “What!?” I agree with your kids that it is such an odd turn of phrase. Then today, as my husband was performing a demo, he responded to a client’s question with, “Answering that now would really open a can of worms.”

Okay. I give in. Let’s talk about it today!

From Merriam-Webster, to open a can of worms means:

To create a complicated situation in which doing something to correct a problem leads to many more problems.

Example: Our boss is reluctant to change the policy now because she doesn’t want to open a can of worms.

But where does the phrase come from? Worms are good creatures. Why put them in a can?

Nobody knows the exact origin of the phrase, but most people think it comes from the United States, around 1950. Back in the ’50s, if you wanted to go fishing, you’d get up early, drive to your favorite spot, and take your fishing pole along with a metal can full of worms.

The website Today I Found Out says:

The fisher folk… (W)ould set the metal can down and open it. What was inside was alive and if the top was left open for too long or the can was tipped over, well, your biggest problem would no longer be catching fish. It would be catching your bait that’s wriggling away.

The articles I read both launched into an extensive discussion of Pandora’s box and how the Greek story has a similar message as “opening a can of worms.” I’ll try to give you the concise version of Pandora.

The Greek gods were fighting, as they often did. Zeus ended up having Hephaestus, the craftsman, create the first woman out of dirt and water. All of the other gods gave her a flourish or two and sent her to earth. Her name was Pandora. (In Greek, pan means “all” and dora means “gift,” so Pandora was all of the gods’ gifts.)

Pandora was also given a box (which was actually a jar) and she was told never to open the jar. Of course, there’s no story if she obeys, so she opened the box, and all the evil things in the world came out: sickness, suffering, death, squirrels, etc. In the version I learned as a kid, there was a question about whether “hope” flew out of the jar—since some people look at hope as positive, but others see it as negative, since it can string you along in bad circumstances.

And there you have it, how Pandora’s gift jar and a can of worms seem like a great thing at first, but when opened, you unleash many other problems.

Hmm…did they have pull tops like this in the 1950s, or is this a “modern” can of worms?

Kara Church | Technical Editor, Advisory | Technical Publications

Pronouns: she/her | Call via Teams | jackhenry.com

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

Hello, folks!

As I wandered through the results of “Where does the phrase pear-shaped come from,” I had a couple other phrases to check out. The submitter asked about other phrases meaning “things gone wrong,” “getting off-track,” “unexpected,” “uncontrollable.” One of these other terms she mentioned was “going off the rails.”

The following information is from The Grammarist. I’ve condensed it a bit, but you can see the full article on the web page.

When something or someone is described as “off the rails,” it means that they have deviated from what’s usually considered normal or expected for the situation. You can use this phrase to describe situations or individuals who have gone awry or lost control.

To get to the roots of the phrase “off the rails,” you have to go back to the 1800s and the world of rail transportation, aka trains. When a train goes off the rails or is “derailed,” it veers off its intended track, leading to accidents, delays or general chaos.

Origin of Off the Rails

Off the rails usage trend.

[KC –I wonder why it suddenly made a resurgence in the 2000s?]

Additional terms that mean the same thing as “off the rails:”

· Astray

· Chaotic

· Disorderly

· Frenzied

· Messy

· Muddled

· Out of control

· Unhinged

· Unruly

Examples, courtesy of AI:

• “After losing his job, he started acting completely off the rails and was getting into trouble with the law."
• "The meeting quickly went off the rails when the heated debate turned personal."
• "The project was running smoothly until the key investor pulled out, sending everything off the rails."
• "The movie started well but then took a strange turn, ending up completely off the rails in the final act."

Happy Tuesday!
Here’s hoping your train stays on its rails and that you have a smooth ride.

Kara Church | Technical Editor, Advisory | Technical Publications

Pronouns: she/her | Call via Teams | jackhenry.com

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

Good morning, language lovers!

Several months ago, one of you wrote in about the idiom “gone pear-shaped,” and explained how it was from pottery. The meaning of “gone pear-shaped” is that something has gone wrong. It makes sense that it might come from pottery. Goodness knows, I’ve tried to throw a pot, spun the wheel, and ended up with a mug that has a heavy bottom. (Or a vase that’s more of a weapon, or a bowl that is an inch thick at the bottom, with “walls” a quarter-inch thick. Yep, I am sold on “pear-shaped” as describing a situation that has turned out badly.)

I’ve heard people describe women as pear-shaped, in fact just the other day I was watching a show about medieval women’s clothes and the professor said that people considered pear-shaped sexy, so you want it to look like you’re packing heat in the back. (For your off-work time, if you are interested, this historian is hilarious: Eleanor Janega).

I didn’t want to offend anyone with the phrase “pear shaped,” though, so I thought I better check on the pottery comparison and where the phrase comes from.

I found that the actual history of the phrase is unclear. Here is what my searches turned up:

1. Aviation. From the Royal Air Force. [KC – This is the most popular explanation, but sources disagree about what represents a pear-shaped failure.] Pilots used “pear-shaped” to describe a poorly executed maneuver. Instead of flying in a smooth loop or roll, the pilot’s attempt was wonky. Others say it is from crashing the plane “nose first.”
2. Pottery. As described above. An item intended to be well-balanced and symmetrical ends lopsided and bottom-heavy.
3. Ballooning: Some believe it could be related to hot air balloons, where an improperly inflated balloon might resemble a pear shape and not function as intended.

From the Free Dictionary, here is a definition and some examples.

To fail or fall apart.

• The deal went pear-shaped because of disagreements over the distribution of royalties.
• Molly’s surprise party went pear-shaped after someone in the office accidentally told her about it.
• The event will definitely go pear-shaped if our chief donor backs out!

As for the origin, the pottery history gets my vote. I’ve lived it too many times over the years.

Kara Church | Technical Editor, Advisory | Technical Publications

Pronouns: she/her | Call via Teams | jackhenry.com

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

Good morning, readers! Today’s article is a gift I borrowed from Richard Lederer, the original San Diego verbivore. This is an excerpt from his article from December 7, 2024. For the full version, see:

True confessions of a dyed-in-the-wool verbivore

Carnivores eat meat. Herbivores consume plants. Verbivores devour words. I am such a creature. My whole life I have feasted on words — ogled their appetizing shapes, colors, and textures; swished them around in my mouth; lingered over their many tastes; and felt their juices run down my chin. During my adventures as a fly-by-the-roof-of-the-mouth user-friendly wizard of idiom, I have met thousands of other wordaholics, logolepts, and verbivores — folks who also eat their words. What is there about words that makes a language person love them so?

…Some word people of etymological persuasion are intrigued by the birth and life of words and phrases. They love the fact that when a candidate for office went to the Forum in ancient Roman times, he wore a bleached white toga to symbolize his humility, purity of motive, and candor. The original Latin root, “candidatus”, meant “one who wears white,” from the belief that white was the color of purity and probity. The Latin verb “candere” “to shine, to glow,” parents the English words “candid,” “candor,” “candle,” and “incandescent.”

While many fabrics and garments are colored or printed after they are woven, wool is sometimes dyed before it is ever woven or made into cloth. The color of that wool is through- and-through and impossible to remove completely. So when we say someone is a “dyed-in-the- wool” conservative, liberal, environmentalist, animal-rights supporter, Padres fan, etc., we mean that their beliefs are steadfast and permanent….

Then there are the grammarians, who enjoy trying to transmute the briar patch of pronoun cases, subject-verb agreement, sequence of tenses, and the indicative and subjunctive moods into a manageable garden of delight. Such devotees of correct usage often explore the nuances of confusing word pairs — “lay” vs. “lie” (“lay” means ”to put”; “lie” means “to repose”), and “podium” vs. “lectern” (you stand on a podium; you stand behind a lectern). Other wordaholics experience the joy of lex by prowling the lunatic fringes of language. These recreational word players ponder why we drive in a parkway and park in a driveway and our nose can run and our feet can smell.

Finally, there are the legions of pundits, punheads, and pun pals….

When I say “language,” I mean by and large that glorious, uproarious, notorious, victorious, outrageous, courageous, contagious, stupendous, tremendous, end-over-endous adventure we call the English language. That’s because in matters verbal, I am unabashedly lexist. Just as many would say the Italians do food well and the French do style and fashion well, I believe we English speakers and writers do language well. One might say we do it lexicellently.

Kara Church | Technical Editor, Advisory | Technical Publications

Pronouns: she/her | Call via Teams | jackhenry.com

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/

Dear Editrix,

Have you ever done an article on the phrase, “wracking my brain?”

Sincerely,

Curious Accountant

Dear Curious,

No, I haven’t covered this phrase before, and it looks like there is a lot to cover, so let’s see what English has to offer!

There are two spellings: rack and wrack. While they have been used interchangeably since the 1800s, they are actually different words with different histories. Here is a little information from Merriam-Webster:

…(R)ack is thought to be from the Middle Dutch word recken, meaning “to stretch,” and wrack comes from the Middle English word for a shipwreck, wrak—and (they) do retain different meanings. However, wrack has so often been used as a variant spelling of rack, especially when used in the phrases “(w)rack one’s brain” and “(w)racked with pain,” that many dictionaries now list it as a variant.

M-W says that some style guides, like the New York Times, now say “go with rack,” which will avoid confusion; but then M-W provides information for how to sort between the two, in case you are a stickler (like many of us old-timey editors are). M-W also provides contradictory rules from various style guides. Here is the general set of rules, based on the terms’ etymologies:

Rack and wrack are often confused, and there are some ways in which one may easily distinguish between the two words. When employing one of them as a noun, you are almost certainly looking for rack. You hang your clothes on a rack, eat a rack of lamb, and, if you are a medieval torture enthusiast, attach someone to a rack to be stretched until bones are broken or joints dislocated.

Some guides have expressed the opinion that since the verb rack comes from an instrument that stretches people (not in a fun way), this word should be used in settings which are related to strain, torture, and stress. And since wrack comes from a background of nautical destruction, this word should be used to indicate either wreckage (storm-wracked) or destruction (wrack and ruin).

If you are one who wants to speed up the change of the language, the article recommends just using the spelling rack for all meanings. I just wanted to give you the history of each so you can make a well-informed decision when you talk about torture or the Titanic.

Hmmm…I don’t think this is what Nordstrom
had in mind when the named their second business.

Kara Church | Technical Editor, Advisory | Technical Publications

Pronouns: she/her | Call via Teams | jackhenry.com

Editor’s Corner Archives: https://episystechpubs.com/