Editor's Corner

Recently, our coworker Sandra B. posted “Phrases Black Southerners Say” on the Mosaic Teams site. I enjoyed it thoroughly, and thought I’d look for some other Southern phrases I could share. It’s been four years since I shared lively Southern phrases with you, and it seems like a good time to look at more. I had to rely on Wander Wisdom for new material since I don’t have a Southern connection. I have cut out the items I did last time, and also the ones that are a bit “blue” for the office.

Enjoy!

When a Southerner Gets Angry:

• He’s got a burr in his saddle.
• His knickers are in a knot.
• She’s pitching a hissy fit.
• She’s pitching a hissy fit with a tail on it.

Southern Sayings About Bad Character:

• You’re lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut.
• She’s meaner than a wet panther.
• Worthless as gum on a boot heel!

When Southerners Are Busy:

• I’m as busy as a one-legged cat in a sandbox.
• Busier than a moth in a mitten!

Southern Expressions About Being Cheap:

• He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams.

Southern Phrases About Being Broke or Poor:

• I’m so poor I can’t afford to pay attention.
• He was so poor, he had a tumbleweed as a pet.
• I couldn’t buy a hummingbird on a string for a nickel.

Irritation Brings Out Some Creative Southern Expressions:

• That would make a bishop mad enough to kick in stained glass windows.
• She could make a preacher cuss!
• Who licked the red off your candy?
• She could start an argument in an empty house.
• He’s about as useless as a screen door on a submarine/a trapdoor on a canoe.

Colorful Southern Expressions About Liars:

• You’re lyin’ like a no-legged dog!
• If his lips’s movin’, he’s lyin’.

Southernisms About Stupidity:

• If brains were leather, he wouldn’t have enough to saddle a junebug.
• He’s so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.
• When the Lord was handin’ out brains, that fool thought God said trains, and he passed ’cause he don’t like to travel.
• His brain rattles around like a BB in a boxcar.
• If his brains were dynamite, he couldn’t blow his nose.

When Something Smells Really Bad, a Southerner Says:

• He smelled bad enough to gag a maggot.
• Something smells bad enough to knock a dog off a gut wagon.

If You Hear These Southern Expressions, You Better Watch Out:

Either somebody’s in real trouble, or there’s a fight brewing if you hear…

• I’m gonna jerk her bald!
• Me-‘n-you are gonna mix.
• You better give your heart to Jesus, ’cause your butt is mine.
• I’ll slap you to sleep, then slap you for sleeping.

Ugly or Looking Bad?

• He’s so ugly, he didn’t get hit with the ugly stick, he got whopped with the whole forest!
• So ugly she’d make a freight train take a dirt road.
• She’s so ugly I’d hire her to haunt a house!
• He looks like ten miles of bad road.

Of the Wealthy:

• He’s so rich he buys a new boat when he gets the other one wet.

A Hungry Southerner Says:

• I could eat the north end of a south-bound polecat.
• I’m so hungry I could eat the north end of a south-bound goat.

Kara Church

Pronouns: she/her/hers

Technical Editor, Advisory

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