Posted by: episystechpubs | February 27, 2018

Editor’s Corner: Church Bulletin Bloopers, Part 3

I sent out a couple of Editor’s Corners with church bulletin bloopers that seemed to go over well with many of you. I found a book called Did You Read That? by Derric Johnson, that contains more of the same sorts of items. Enjoy!

1. Next Sunday is Easter, and Mrs. Anderson will come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

2. On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to help defray the expense of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet, come forward and get a piece of paper.

3. A bean supper will be held Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.

4. The church choir will begin practice for the Christmas cantata next Wednesday at 7:00 p.m. We have a special need for men’s voices, but all parts are welcome.

5. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Saturday morning.

6. The sermon of the morning: GOSSIP…THE SPEAKING OF EVIL. The closing song: I LOVE TO TELL THE STORY.

7. The sermon this morning: PREDESTINATION…WHAT ABOUT HELL? The closing song: I’LL GO WHERE YOU WANT ME TO GO.

8. The third verse of “Blessed Assurance” will be sung without musical accomplishment.

9. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church. Come and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

10. Announcement in the church bulletin for a National Fasting and Prayer Conference… “The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.”

11. This morning, the pastor will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing BREAK FORTH INTO JOY.

12. Miss Charlene Mason sang “I Will Not Pass This Way Again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

13. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

14. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on IT’S A TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE.

15. The choir will meet at the Larsen home for fun and sinning.

Kara Church

Technical Editor, Advisory

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