Posted by: Jack Henry | January 4, 2017

Editor’s Corner: Birthday Favorites

It’s my birthday today, so as a present to you, I’m sharing some of my favorite items from the idiom contest. I’m not sharing the naughtier ones, but there are a few here that you may not appreciate if you are easily offended.

Idiom Definition
More useless than a screen door on a submarine Something extremely useless; could be used to describe something with a really poor design.
I haven’t had this much fun since the pigs ate my baby brother. I haven’t had this much fun for a long time.
Jack-of-all-trades and master of none A person who can do many different types of work but who is not necessarily very competent at any of them
He looks worse than ten miles of bad road. He looks awful.

[KC – I found this from
Wander Wisdom, which also made me laugh.]

When a Southerner Gets Angry:

· He’s got a burr in his saddle.

· His knickers are in a knot.

· She’s having a hissy fit.

· She has a hissy fit with a tail on it. (When she’s more [ticked] off.)

· He has a duck fit. (One step above a hissy fit.)

· She has a dying duck fit. (Translation: Run and hide!)

Well what in the cat hair do you want me to do? [KC – Not really an idiom, but I love how the speaker replaces a swear word with “cat hair.”]
“Don’t pee down my back and tell me it’s raining!”

Don’t pee on my boots…

Don’t pee on my back…

Don’t pee on my leg…

Don’t be the cause of my problems and then blame them on someone else—your involvement in the matter is obvious.

[KC – Judge Judy named one of her books with this as the title. I figured if she could use it, I could repeat it.]

Don’t have a cow (or a kitten). Don’t get upset.

[KC – I grew up saying “Don’t have a cow,” but never heard about having a kitten. I thought that was pretty cute.]

Prettier than a speckled pup under a shiny new red wagon Extremely beautiful

It’s hotter than the devil’s armpit. Extremely hot
It’s colder than a tin toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg. Extremely cold
“Red” up the house Straighten up/lightly clean the house. Central PA saying, “Ready the house.”

Kara Church

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