It’s my birthday today, so as a present to you, I’m sharing some of my favorite items from the idiom contest. I’m not sharing the naughtier ones, but there are a few here that you may not appreciate if you are easily offended.
| Idiom | Definition |
| More useless than a screen door on a submarine | Something extremely useless; could be used to describe something with a really poor design. |
| I haven’t had this much fun since the pigs ate my baby brother. | I haven’t had this much fun for a long time. |
| Jack-of-all-trades and master of none | A person who can do many different types of work but who is not necessarily very competent at any of them |
| He looks worse than ten miles of bad road. | He looks awful.
[KC – I found this from When a Southerner Gets Angry:· He’s got a burr in his saddle. · His knickers are in a knot. · She’s having a hissy fit. · She has a hissy fit with a tail on it. (When she’s more [ticked] off.) · He has a duck fit. (One step above a hissy fit.) · She has a dying duck fit. (Translation: Run and hide!) |
| Well what in the cat hair do you want me to do? | [KC – Not really an idiom, but I love how the speaker replaces a swear word with “cat hair.”] |
| “Don’t pee down my back and tell me it’s raining!”
Don’t pee on my boots… Don’t pee on my back… Don’t pee on my leg… |
Don’t be the cause of my problems and then blame them on someone else—your involvement in the matter is obvious.
[KC – Judge Judy named one of her books with this as the title. I figured if she could use it, I could repeat it.] |
| Don’t have a cow (or a kitten). | Don’t get upset.
[KC – I grew up saying “Don’t have a cow,” but never heard about having a kitten. I thought that was pretty cute.] |
| Prettier than a speckled pup under a shiny new red wagon | Extremely beautiful
|
| It’s hotter than the devil’s armpit. | Extremely hot |
| It’s colder than a tin toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg. | Extremely cold |
| “Red” up the house | Straighten up/lightly clean the house. Central PA saying, “Ready the house.” |
Kara Church
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