Posted by: episystechpubs | August 22, 2014

Editor’s Corner: Painfully Bad Analogies

Hi folks!

It’s the Friday before the Symitar Educational Conference and things are hopping here! Since the Symitar Technical Publications and Education departments are tied together, the editors, writers, and education staff will be busy helping in classrooms, ushering at the conference, staffing our community booth, and doing whatever is necessary to make things run smoothly. There is a good chance that it will not involve writing a daily column. J

I was hoping to have my new mondegreen (misheard song lyrics) books so I could share something fun with you today; alas, I think they are being walked here from Maine by a sick donkey. Instead, I did a search for “fun with language” and came up with these “Painfully Bad Analogies” from the Washington Post. Hopefully they will provide some entertainment. The full list is here.

· He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. (Brian Broadus, Charlottesville)

· The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. (Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington)

· She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. (Brian Broadus, Charlottesville)

· Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. (Jerry Pannullo, Kensington)

· He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. (John Kammer, Herndon)

· It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. (Brian Broadus, Charlottesville)

· The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
(Ralph Scott, Washington)

· He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. (Susan Reese, Arlington)

· She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

· Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened. (Sue Lin Chong, Washington)

· Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster. (Sue Lin Chong, Washington)

Kara Church

Technical Editor, Advisory

619-542-6773 | Ext: 766773

www.symitar.com

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