Guess what guys and dolls? This is the last selection of misheard song lyrics (a.k.a. mondegreens) I have for you from Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza, by Charles Grosvenor Jr. The book actually has quite a few more entries and other items, but they don’t all pass the Human Resources political correctness test.
I don’t have a particular contest in mind to entice you with, but it is almost the season of giving—whether you celebrate Festivus, Christmas, Kwanza, Hanukkah, the Winter Solstice, or something else—so I would like to give this lightly used copy of the book away to one of you.
If you are a JHA employee or a credit union client, just send me an email and I’ll put you in the random drawing to win!
| Song Title | Artist/Group | Actual Lyrics | Mondegreen |
| Hips Don’t Lie | Shakira | She makes a man want to speak Spanish | She makes a man want to see spandex |
| My Favorite Mistake | Sheryl Crow | I woke up and called this morning | I woke up in goth this morning |
| Anthem for the Year 2000 | Silverchair | We’ll take your fascism away | We’ll take your fashions on the way |
| 1979 | The Smashing Pumpkins | Shakedown, 1979 | Shaft died, 1979 |
| Wannabe | Spice Girls | Make it last forever | Naked lasts forever |
| Goodbye | Spice Girls | Before the pain turns into fear | Before the painters interfere |
| It’s Been Awhile | Staind | I’ve stretched myself beyond my means | I scratch myself behind my knee |
| Meet Virginia | Train | Meet Virginia, I can’t wait to, meet Virginia | Beef or chicken, I can’t wait to have, beef or chicken |
| Mysterious Ways | U2 | She moves in mysterious ways | Shampoo in mysterious ways |
| Sunday Bloody Sunday | U2 | Sunday, bloody Sunday | Someday, buddy, someday |
| Seven Nation Army | The White Stripes | I’m gonna fight ‘em off | I’m gonna find a moth |
| Sharp Dressed Man | ZZ Top | Every girl’s crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man | Never go crazy for a short fat man |
Kara Church
Technical Editor, Advisory
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